One sneaky way you are sabotaging your weight loss success

The irony of life is the more we want to FORCE something….the less likely it is to happen.

[insert Alanis Morisette lyrics here]

What do I mean??

Let’s play a **CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE**

(did anyone else ever read those books???)

You either:

1. Wake up every morning complaining about your body. Looking in the mirror, stepping on the scale, saying unkind words. Skipping meals, then ending up in the drive-through binging on fast-food that leaves you feeling bloated. More unkind words to your body. You have NO energy and mostly feel like shit. Then you take out your negative feelings on your family. Yikes.
   
   OR
   
   
   
   

2.  you wake up every morning and thank your body for keeping you alive and breathing and able to get up and accomplish the things you need to do. You treat your body to a warm cup of tea and a delicious and healthy breakfast. You skip the painful workouts you used to force yourself through in favor of peaceful walks. You notice how energizing the fresh air is to your body. You eat regular meals throughout the day, never feeling STARVING and always stop before you feel too stuffed. You know your “baby weight” isn’t keeping you from accomplishing anything (except maybe fitting in your old jeans, but just BUY SOME NEW ONES).

With a few extra pounds on your body, you can do your job.

You can be an amazing mother. Heck, you ARE an amazing mother.

You can have great sex.

You can be a great partner. You can be a great friend.

But if you aren't happy in your body now, I have sad news for you... you will find something to hate even at your #goalweight. You gotta start with LOVE now, or you'll yo-yo diet yourself into oblivion.

You don’t need to force your body into ANY shape. And even if you DO want to change your habits or get better at running or lose a few lbs or whatever….

Being kind to yourself will make it EASIER!  #ironic #thanksAlanis

So which would you prefer???

Forcing is not the answer. A diet is not the answer. A sexy celery juice is not the answer. Keto is not the fu***ing anwer. LOVING YOUR BODY NOW IS THE ANSWER (but don't expect it to happen instantaneiously. It's a process).

And guess what.

YOU have all the answers inside of you. Close your eyes. Put your hand on your chest. Take 5 deep breaths. What does YOUR body need from YOU right now??

Need help transforming how you think about food and your body?? Get your free copy of my ANTI-DIET METHOD printables.

What does self-love have to do with weight loss?? 3 steps for overcoming negative body image

The thing about body image is it’s not just about how you feel about your body RIGHT NOW.

It’s the comment your grandmother made about your size when you were a little girl. It’s the rude name your high school boyfriend called you. It’s how your mom talked about her own body. It’s the example your older sister and aunts set for you by talking about their latest diet and how much weight they wanted to lose before vacation.

ALLL that adds up, and creates automatic thoughts that fill your brain with negativity.

So if you don’t DO the “work” aka learn how to talk kindly to yourself and accept your body as it is NOW…. alllll that junk from your past will be right there with you. Even the rude comments from 20 or 30 years ago!

The brain’s job is to create automatic thoughts so it doesn’t have to think as hard. That means when we are in the habit of thinking badly about our body, our brains learn to automaticlly think negative thoughts. It becomes an automatic loop we aren’t even consiously aware of.

THAT is why I focus so much on changing mindset about body while also changing nutrition habits.

If you are trying to improve your health while thinking horrible thoughts about your body… you might as well be trying to go up a down escalator. It’s just not as effective and may be why you’ve struggled with weight-loss or yo-yo dieting in the past.

Do I really expect my clients to go from self-conscious to body LOVE? Not right away, but YES.

Loving your body doesn’t mean being self-obsessed. It doesn’t mean loving every inch of yourself every single day. What it DOES mean, is accepting your body as it is right now.

It’s okay to want to improve your health, of course, but the point of self-love is to be kind to yourself. It’s about talking to your body the way you would talk to your sweet daughter. It’s about giving yourself grace, and knowing that you’re doing the best you can.

It’s about understanding that body “ideals” are damaging, and realizing that ALL bodies are good bodies.

Different shapes and sizes and colors is what makes the world beautiful and unique.

So if you’re trying to change the way you talk to yourself or talk about your body what should you do??

1. Pay attention to your thoughts for a few days. Start by becoming aware of what you say to yourself when you look in the mirror, when you try on clothes, after a big meal, etc. Once you become aware of the comments you make to yourself, you can begin to change your thought patterns.
   
   

2. After paying attention to your thought patterns for a few days, write down the most common thoughts. Like, actually sit down and write! And then write some more about negative thoughts you’ve had about your body, yourself, how smart you are, etc.

   • Example: my thighs are so big, I don’t fit in any of my clothes, I need to lose weight, I hate my ____, etc. My mom says my ___ is ____…. etc.
     
     

3. THEN…. And this is the most important part. Begin journaling a rebuttal or an opposite to each negative thought as well as think about where the thought came from?

   • My thighs are big compared to what?? Do my clothes not fit because I just had a baby? Or because I need to buy new clothes? Or because I gained 10 lbs because of stress in the last month?

   • Why do I hate my ___? Did someone make a comment on that body part when I was a child? Am I comparing myself to someone else?

   • And most importantly… what would I tell my daughter if she made those comments to herself? THAT should be the standard by which we talk to ourselves.

4. (BONUS!!) Once you have your rebuttals write down a few affirmations. You don’t have to go from I hate my thighs to I love my thighs… start with “I’m learning to love my thighs.” or “I have a body” instead of I hate my body. Repeat your affirmations whenever you look in the mirror. Put sticky notes on your car steering wheel on your bathroom mirror, etc.

Changing your thought patterns doesn’t have to be complicated. It’s like changing the eating habits you’ve had for years. It takes work, but it IS possible, and it’s amazing what happens when you DO make a change.

Ready to break the diet cycle while being kind to your body so you can model a healthy body image for your kids?? Click below to download my free ebook

Year one of motherhood: what I know now and what I wish I knew before I became a Mama

In honor of my precious girl’s first bday, I’m talking year one of motherhood. I’m sure every mom has the same feeling, but holy crap the time has gone so fast. I look back and while, in the moment some months seemed to drag on (I’m looking at you, 4 month sleep regression), it really is a huge whirlwind of ALL THE FEELINGS. So today I will share a few things I’ve learned ...because really, there are too many to count... and a few things I wish I knew before my precious Elle was born.

Lessons Learned

• Things don’t go as planned. I remember specifically when Elle was about a month old and I was taking a trip with she and my mom back to my family’s house in San Diego...I was trying to make a plan in my head of where we could stop on the way and how often we should stop so I could nurse, and I realized WTF am I thinking. She’s going to tell me when she needs to stop to eat or needs a diaper change. It doesn’t matter when I “think we should”. SO JUST STOP WORRYING ABOUT IT. Yes, I’m a huge planner, but the best thing I’ve done is realized that sometimes I just need to let it go. Elle is in charge now lol.
   
•  Sleep Deprivation is real and it’s ugly. OMG. We went through phases where Elle would sleep great, and then she would be up and down allll night. And omg I did not anticipate the gnarly effect sleep deprivation would have on my body. I feel like I aged a good 5 years, plus lack of sleep totally contributed to more headaches along with all the other things like feeling like I’m stuck in a fog and need to sleep for a week straight. One year later, and she’s sleeping much better now (knock on wood) but seriously. It was rough there for a while. Even though I read many books and articles about sleep training, I somehow failed to account for the fact that this little babe is a HUMAN who won't just sleep because I give her the right environment, etc. She has needs, and feelings, and sometimes just doesn't know what she wants. Just like me. 
   
• Babies make marriage complicated. My husband and I were married for 5 years before Elle was born. When I was pregnant I kept reading that pregnancy made marriage hard, and I honestly felt closer and more connected than ever to my husband. But after the baby was born. Wow. It was hard. My husband was on crutches the first month of Elle’s life (long story), he helped as much as he could, but because of that combined with me breastfeeding Elle 24/7 (not really, but it felt like it), he just didn’t have the opportunity to get used to everything as quickly. I think it’s normal that mom’s just figure it out out of necessity, but sometimes it’s just harder at first for dads. They don’t necessarily have that immediate bond that mamas and their babies do. It’s complicated for sure, and it took us months to find our groove as a family. My husband absolutely loves being a dad and helping me as much as possible, and I finally realized that more communication is ESSENTIAL when caring for a new member of the family in addition to juggling the same old responsibilities. 

What I wish I knew before she was born….

• Trust yourself. Yes it is all new and it’s a complete shock, but trust in your mama instincts. You will have them and they will be strong. There are a million parenting books, not because you need to be told what to do, but because everyone has their unique approach depending on their own personality and what meets the needs of their family.

• Do what it takes to feel like yourself. I truly felt so connected and in love with my pregnant body, but man the postpartum time is rough. I had to learn that it’s all part of the beautiful journey of motherhood, and while my clothes didn’t fit for a while (months), I  had to do things to make me feel like my old self. Even just showering and blowing out my hair while the baby napped worked wonders. Do what works for YOU and your family! If you love quiet time or girl's night out, or jogging alone.... carve out a little bit of time each week to recharge. 

• Ask for help. The best thing I did for myself as a new mom was admit that the anxiety I was feeling wasn’t normal, and ask for some medical help. Read all about that here. If you need help, ask. If you need a babysitter or a therapist or depression medication or just 30 minute of ALONE time, ask. Because you are a better mama when you take time for yourself.

I could go on and on. It’s only been 12 months. 52 short weeks. My journey has just begun and I feel so blessed and lucky to be a mama. Please share your best lessons in motherhood with me! Comment below, or connect with me on social media. While each journey is different, I feel like I’ve learned so much from other amazing women. We can all use a little support. 

Happy birthday my beautiful Elle.

The Best Youtube Channels and Apps for Home Workouts

I've put together a list of some of the best fitness youtube channels and apps to help you get in shape at home (or wherever)! In to yoga? Zumba? 10 minute workouts? There is a little something for everyone here. 

I love youube workouts if I need an added dose of motivation (it's like having an instructor with you). It's also great to have a live example so you can really see how a movement is done (and you can check your form!). 

Youtube Channels

Yoga with Adriene: I love this channel! She has short workouts, more intense sequences, 20 day challenges, yoga for stress or relaxation....a little yoga for everyone. 

Popsugar Fitness: A ton of different cardio workouts as well as beginning strength training and shorter ab specific workouts. 

Blogilates: The cute Cassie is an upbeat instructor and she has videos for body-specific workouts, high intensity workouts, as well as a stretching series. 

BeFit: Everything from 10 minute workouts to yoga and longer HIIT workouts. 

The Live Fit Girl: She uses basic equipment (like most of the things in this post) for killer pilates workouts. 

Health & Fitness Apps

Sworkit: all types of workouts that you can do anywhere. They have stretching, yoga, cardio, and strength workouts and include videos so you can follow along. 

Couch 2 5k: This popular program helps prep you for a 5k starting from square 1! 30 minutes per day, 3 days a week for just 8 weeks and you will be running your first 5k! 

Pocket Yoga: take your yoga practice anywhere. 

Headspace: Not a workout app, but great for your health! Headspace helps you learn to calm your mind and meditate in a super simple way. 

Nike Training Club: NTC is one of the OG fitness apps. It has a ton of different workouts created by trainers with a timer and video all in one. 

Interested in nutrition tips that go with your busy lifestyle?? Download your FREE healthy mama toolkit below! 

My Favorite Podcasts: on #momlife, relationships & productivity

I love a wide variety of podcasts! Here are my top picks, in no particular order.

• Atomic Moms: "A modern parenting podcast". Host Ellie is funny and does such great interviews with a wide variety of women. As a new mom, I love hearing about other people’s approach to parenting and her guests always leave me feeling inspired. Her nonjudgemental approach to motherhood is a breath of fresh air! 
• Sorta Awesome: Host Megan has 3 alternating co-hosts who are all cute and quirky in their own way. I followed co-host Laura’s blog (The Hollywood Housewife) for years, so I especially love hearing from her. These ladies discuss everything from fashion and beauty to relationships and entertainment.
• One Extraordinary Marriage. Hosts/ husband and wife Tony and Alisa are funny and matter of fact about relationship hardships, sex, love, and commitment. They've been married for 20+ years and Alisa is a relationship coach, so they really knows their stuff. 
• The Chalene Show. I think this was the first podcast I started listening to. You may know Chalene as creator of the workout Pi-Yo, but on her podcast she talks about fitness, motivation, relationships, parenting,organization, and nutrition. She is funny and smart and her personality makes me want to be BFFs with her. I also follow her on snapchat because I love her so much!!
• Let it Out with Katie Dalebout. Formerly the Wellness Wonderland, Katie interviews guests from all over the health and wellness spectrum. 

A few more favorites : Serial season one (and I hear S-town from the same creators is excellent), The Goal Digger Podcast with Jenna Kutcher (she's adorable), Radiolab, The Balanced Blonde Soul on Fire, and Smartest Person in the Room! 

What are your favorite podcasts?? Let me know! You can always reach me here, or @vivfitcoach on ig, twitter, or facebook.